Weening off Junk Stories (Article 6 in a series of 8)

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I’ve identified junk stories and their risks in earlier articles in this series.  Now it’s time to discuss ways to cut back on an over-saturated diet of junk stories. Junk stories, just like junk food are easy to consume and over indulge.  Many of us wake up and discover we are bloated in junk stories and don’t know how to stop.  Since junk stories come in different forms and we listen, read, and tell stories in different ways, let me suggest several different ways to ween off junk stories.

  1. Come out of isolation – If you are watching shows or movies alone, invite friends or family to sit and watch with you. If you are binge reading junk on line or in print, join a reading group or ask a friend to read what you’re reading.  The very act of sharing will expand the quality of your experience and often encourage exploration into other content.
  2. Investigate the other side – The 24-hour news cycle generates a lot of junk. Most so-called news outlets generate content heavily weighted to one side or the other, seasoned with generous amounts of anger, arrogance, prejudice, and righteousness.  The story format creates sticky content that easily provokes strong feelings, but the imbalanced content greatly reduces the value of stories.  Challenge yourself and seek out the other side (or sides) of the story. As you begin to question the validity of lop-sided news, individual stories will gain complexity – a storytelling equivalent to nutritional value.
  3. Try something new – Variety is said to be the spice of life, but we are often reluctant to change, even if we know the change is for our own good. Familiar might be boring, but it’s also safe and reassuring.  We crave repetition, but we don’t want to be bored so we seek out binge content so we can space out.  Make a contract with yourself to watch, read, or listen to something new for every repeat or repetitive show.
  4. Challenge yourself – Easy isn’t always good. Step out of your comfort zone and include a few stories every week or month that takes effort to understand and digest.  Just as a healthy diet must include complex carbohydrates and lean proteins, a healthy story diet should include quality content that pushes you.
  5. Don’t forget to play and have fun – Quality isn’t dull and great stories can be fun. Give yourself permission to play.

Next Blog: Where to find nutritious stories.

Building Team Dynamics through Drum Circles

 September is just a few weeks away and for most school administrators and many businesses leaders, it’s time to schedule in-services and trainings.  

These usually include lectures with some interactive elements. At some point in this process, cooperation and team building is often woven into the hours of training.

The thought of these half or full day training sessions is an inspiration to one and all…

…Then again, maybe not.  If you sit quietly, you might hear groaning.  Let’s face it, half the group dreads these sessions, and building a team through group suffering isn’t all that effective.

IMG_1427Training and ongoing education is essential for teachers and business teams, but you don’t build teams through talk, teams are built through doing.

I’ve been a storyteller and story coach for over 17 years, so I know the power of words, however not all stories are written, told, or heard. Some stories are experienced.  A few years ago, I added Drum Circle Facilitation to my skill set, and I use traditional drums to build and strengthen teams. 

I am continuously amazed when a diverse group of adults gather together in a drum circle.  Most people have never touched a drum before, a few hotshots want to show off, and a few are afraid to make a sound. 

Traditional African Drumming consists of three basic notes and can be taught in ten minutes.  Building a unified rhythm seems impossible at first, but it seems to magically evolve in less than an hour.  Everyone in the cIMG_1412ircle begins to take care of each other though eye contact, self-control, and focus. 

Adding a drum circle in the middle or end of an in-service builds excitement. Don’t talk about becoming a team.  Become a team. 

Contact me today and schedule a traditional drum circle for your next in-service or training. I serve the Mid-Atlantic States. Rivka@simplyextraordinarytales.com

When junk stories become personal (5 in a Series of 8)

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By Rivka Willick

The stories we tell, read, hear, see, and experience become part of our personal life-map which provide a context for each of us to organize and help understand the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual challenges that we face every day. When we fill our life map with a wide range of quality stories, we will be able to explore and embrace individual trials and opportunities. If we’ve filled up on junk, our ability to access memories, emotions, and information will be compromised.

Sometimes we become dependent and begin to identify with the junk stories we’ve consumed. When the world begins to be an extension of addictive or compulsive content, the self will begin to lose bits of its genuineness.

I remember a woman who lived across the street when I was a teenager.  She needed her Soaps every day. She once told me that if she missed even part of one of her afternoon shows, her entire day was ruined.  She also used the characters in the show to fill up her day, they often showed up in conversations.

Discussions of popular stories are commonplace, but if these discussions are only recitations of plot points or characters or if you catch yourself living vicariously through these stories, the junk might be taking over.  Check to see if you are the only one really talking.  Try to expand these conversations into topics that matter. Remember, junk dumbs you down and dulls emotional responses, so push through it.

Junk stories also tend to draw individuals away from others and build a narcissistic attitude.  Are you isolating, monopolizing conversations, or telling personal stories that are self-focused often with a harsh and sometimes offensive edge?  Are you elevating yourself at the cost of others?  If so, please consider reducing your junk story intake.  Push yourself to explore new types of stories and seek out opportunities to interact and empathize with others.

Next Blog:           Weening Off a Junk Story Diet

How Many Junk Stories are Too Many Junk Stories? (4th in a series of 8)

 

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How many “calories” are in a procedural or trash novel?

By Rivka Willick

For most of us, an occasional ice cream cone or order of fries is OK, but a diet filled with junk food will sooner or later cause health problems.  The same applies with junk stories. For most of us watching a procedural, reading a serial romance novel, or sharing a self-absorbed story is harmless, but bingeing on stories with addictive, simplistic, or narcissistic elements will dumb you down, emotionally stunt you, and dull your spirit.

So, how do we find the right balance for a nutritious story diet? It will vary for different individuals and may be a little tough to get a grip on, since stories are so entwined in our lives.

Let’s go back to the food analogy to find our answer. Some people have a very low tolerance for sugars, fatty foods, and starches.  If you have heart disease, diabetes, or binge eating disorders, you need to limit and illuminate certain foods.  I believe there are similar conditions connected to our story intake.

  1. Media Binging- If you are obsessively watching, reading, or listening to stories for hours at a time, losing sleep, skipping work, or avoiding responsibilities consider limiting or cutting out the types of stories that you’re hooked on.
  2. Irritability and social isolation – Certain stories are structured to build dependency; these often are simplistic and repetitive. If you find yourself separating from others, consider expanding your story diet.
  3. Fatigue and a Dumbed Down Feeling (Couch Potato) – If you’re spending a lot of time reading, watching shows, or listening to stories that lulls you into a complacent or dull state of mind, consider reducing or changing your story habits.

You may not fall into any of the above categories, however a conscientious examination of the different types of stories you take in every month will help you stay balanced.  After all, you want a diverse diet of both food and stories.  If you eat nothing but greens, eventually you’ll have problems.  The same is true with your intellectual, emotional, and spiritual consumption of the world around you.  (We are focusing on stories, because stories are sticky and show up in everything). Try to take in some challenging stories, along with some inspiring tales, narratives that connect, and some playful yarns.

Also try to take in a variety of story forms.  If you mainly watch TV, add reading or listening to stories on the radio, as blogs, or audio books.  If you have a seat with your name on it at the local cinema, try to take in a play.  And don’t forget live, unscripted stories.

 

 

Next blog: When Junk Stories Become Personal

How do you handle the Junk Stories around you?  Leave a comment.

How to Identify Junk Stories (Article 3 in a series of 8)

 

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By Rivka Willick

Stories, the stickiest form of verbal communication, are as essential as food and water. Instead of nourishing our bodies, stories feed our intellect, emotions, and spirit. The quality of the stories we consume affect us in fundamental ways. Quality stories challenge our minds, guide and strengthen our emotional growth, and inspire that element we might call our unique self; whereas toxic stories cause damage on all those levels. Junk stories are somewhere in between. In the first two articles of this series we’ve explored the concept of Junk Stories and the harm they can cause when you fill up on them.

Now let’s tackle identifying categories of Junk Stories. Remember, junk stories in moderation are OK, just like a sweet for desert or an occasional fast food meal, but a steady diet of junk stories should be avoided.

Formulaic Stories – This is the narrative equivalent of comfort food. The structure never changes, the characters are usually interchangeable, and the endings are predictable.  The modern TV Procedurals are great examples. The structure = An interesting, quirky, or odd character uses his or her oddness to investigate, faces at least one risk, and then helps the police solve the crime. The structure has become so predictable, that some shows will do two or three crimes per episode, but they do that every time.  The predictability is reassuring, it makes us feel good, but if we only stay with the sure things, we’ll become complacent.

Made for Binging – There’s a lot of money to be made in media, so if you can hook the reader, listener, or watcher through an addictive structure or content, you’ll have a customer base you can count on.  I’m not talking about compelling content or great artistry; I’m talking about tricks that keep people hooked. This isn’t new.  Harlequin Romance Novels began in 1949.  Many women throughout the decades have devoured them, sometimes on a daily basis.  Binge Worthy TV Series are designed to keep viewers hooked. Let me be clear- there’s nothing wrong with getting caught up in a great story, book, or show, but if the story is designed to be addictive, you won’t have much brain or heart space for anything else.

Stories with very little middle – All stories have a beginning, middle, and an end with some sort of challenge or movement.  This contained structure is what, I believe, makes stories so sticky. When content is over simplified or minimized the story will still linger in your memory but your understanding, curiosity, and natural compassion is reduced. The Modern News Story is a great example. It begins with a headline grabbing beginning, sprinkles in a few simplistic facts, and ends often with a conclusion meant to provoke a response. If we jump from one incomplete story to another, our view of the world around us becomes distorted and we can be controlled by those creating the news. I believe this is true of all news stories, no matter how they are delivered (internet, radio, TV, newspaper, or magazine) regardless of the viewpoint. However, if you follow up on these news spurts with research or a longer, more complex exploration of the same story, the junk story will become nutritious.

The Fixed Folktale (also known as Disneyfied) I’m a storyteller (and have been a professional teller for almost 2 decades), so I’d be remiss to ignore traditional tales. Both Joseph Campbell and Robert Bly spoke about the power and importance of myth and folklore. These stories endure because they provide structures we need for personal development. When we change the story to fit commercial needs or the rules set by let’s say a school administrator or party planner, we may take away its power and relevance. This is a topic needing a longer exploration, but for now, let’s makes sure there’s room on your plate (and our children’s plates) for a few traditional tales along with the Disney versions. (BTW-comic books are great-they are today’s folklore).

Me, Myself, and I Stories – I might get some push back on this one, but here goes.  Personal stories which are self-absorbed should be spoken and listened to in small doses. If everyone but the protagonist is unappealing, consider looking at it from a different viewpoint. Remember Narcissus died looking at his own reflection.

I know I’ve missed a few categories.  Drop me a note if you’d like to add to the list.

 

Next Blog: How many junk stories are too many?

The Risks of Living on a Junk Story Diet

By Rivka Willick

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We process and store the stories we hear and read just as surely as we ingest and process the food we eat. Stories, just like food, offer a wide range of benefits and risks. The best tales will challenge the mind, generate courage and hope to the heart, and inspire the spirit. Toxic stories, and yes there are many that act like poison, can generate fear, mistrust, hatred, hopelessness, cruelty, and confusion. During this month’s exploration, we will look at the stories that are somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.  I call them Junk Stories.  Enjoying Junk Stories in moderation is OK, but if you fill up on Junk your mind, heart, and spirit will suffer.

Let’s take a closer look at the negative effects of consuming too many junk stories.

Dumbing Down – Stories can fill us up mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  When the content is challenging, curious, or inspiring we grow and flourish. However, if the content is pleasant or titillating but lacks substance, we can spend our mental and emotional energy with little in return. That’s OK in moderation, just as a handful of potato chips are also OK.  Problems arise when we take more than just a handful. Remember the old Lays Potato Chip slogan, “bet you can’t eat just one!” Focusing on just one type of story or binging for hours or days on a series are serious signs of a JUNK STORY DIET. Remember, there are structures used purposefully to ‘hook you’ and keep you coming back. The story in and of itself is OK, dependency isn’t.

Lack of Empathy & Narcissism – Stories are bridges and often become connectors between people, cultures, and different ways of life, but they can also act like a funhouse mirror reflecting how we see ourselves, often in a distorted way.  We’ve all met the guy at a party who monopolizes the conversation with self-aggrandizing tales; people will walk away or try to change the topic but he just doesn’t stop. Personal stories are now one of the hottest trends, but when these tales are solely focused on just the teller, often jumping from one gory or shocking event to another, narcissism has fertile soil to grow.  A diet of shocking stories can also reduce your ability to empathize.

Isolation – Some stories expand the world and others insulate the reader creating a bubble for the reader or listener to escape into. Vacations are good, imprisonment is bad.  If you feel entrapped by media, addictive novels, or your own stories, you need to turn those off and find stories that connect you to others.

Dependency – An exciting movie, novel, or performance can produce an adrenal rush. That heightened emotional state is thrilling and fun, but it can also become addictive. I remember a commercial featuring a zombie-like woman who begins to panic at the end of the last episode of a TV series. The spokesperson assured her she’d be OK if she subscribed to their service, they had lots of binge-worthy shows. The ad ends with her smiling as she sits back to zone out once again. Your natural curiosity and emotional growth can get stuck and that can lead to frustration and depression.

Spiritual Disconnection – Every religion and spiritual practice uses stories as a conduit to understand complicated and challenging ideas. Joseph Campbell, the American mythologist who did ground breaking work understanding the stories in folklore and comparative religion showed just how powerful the narrative format can be.  The opposite is also true.  Just as stories can connect us to higher truths and lead us to deeper meanings in life, other stories can desensitize us.  Junk stories can stifle our desire to stretch and push ourselves.  The easy story often fills us up making us reluctant to tackle challenging stuff.

Miscommunication & Lies – This category is closer to Toxic than Junk, but I decided to include it because dishonest stories often mascaraed as important or essential stuff even though it’s just junk.  Propaganda campaigns seek out stories which evokes emotional responses and appear to be true.  Once you ingest one of these “true” but dishonest tales it can get stuck in your mind as truth.  This form of junk is often delivered at political and sales events.  They also flourish all over the internet.

Do you have other ideas about the risks of junk stories? Leave a comment below.  If you’d like to explore the power of story, drop me a note.  I do one-on-one coaching, workshops, and performances.

Next Blog: How to Identify Junk Stories.

Are You Living on a Junk Story Diet?

 

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We  all know that junk food might taste great, is easy to find, and fun to eat, but a steady diet of fats, carbs, and processed sugars is unhealthy.  The health risks include obesity, cardiovascular disease and a long list of chronic health conditions. Habitual fast foods may also cause depression, headaches and even acne.  But I don’t have to list reasons not live on junk food, you already know it’s bad for you, but healthy  food takes a little more effort and focus. Kale, toss salads, and brown rice aren’t as easy or fun as french fries or candy but taking the time and effort to eat nutritious quality foods allows you to be both physically and mentally healthy.

 

 

Now let’s consider your intake of stories.

Stories are the stickiest form of communication. When information is delivered within a story structure it is remembered longer and understood deeper than any other communication format. We also like stories, we crave stories, stories are enjoyable. When we are young they are the building blocks of learning and connections.  When we grow old, stories tie us to our past and allow us to retain an identity even when memory fails. Stories propel religions, inspire beliefs, help politicians get elected, promote and increase sales, and build bridges to lasting and meaningful connections.

Stories are a constant.  We connect by telling them to each other and build an understanding of ourselves by owning stories (both positive and negative) about ourselves. We digest stories daily through movies, TV, books, blogs, comic strips, oral performances, and unscripted discussions.

We consume stories just as surely as we consume food, but not all stories are alike.  Just as food varies widely in nutritional value, stories also cover a wide spectrum in intellectual, emotional, and spiritual power.

Are you nourishing your mind, heart, and spirit with quality stories or are you gorging on a junk story diet?

Over the next few weeks we will explore different aspects of junk stories.

  • The risks of living on a junk story diet
  • How to identify junk stories
  • How many junk stories are too many?
  • When junk stories become personal
  • Weening off a junk story diet.
  • Where to find nutritious stories
  • Recipes for a whole story lifestyle.

I’d love to hear your questions and ideas. Please leave your comments.