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The Risks of Living on a Junk Story Diet

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By Rivka Willick

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We process and store the stories we hear and read just as surely as we ingest and process the food we eat. Stories, just like food, offer a wide range of benefits and risks. The best tales will challenge the mind, generate courage and hope to the heart, and inspire the spirit. Toxic stories, and yes there are many that act like poison, can generate fear, mistrust, hatred, hopelessness, cruelty, and confusion. During this month’s exploration, we will look at the stories that are somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.  I call them Junk Stories.  Enjoying Junk Stories in moderation is OK, but if you fill up on Junk your mind, heart, and spirit will suffer.

Let’s take a closer look at the negative effects of consuming too many junk stories.

Dumbing Down – Stories can fill us up mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  When the content is challenging, curious, or inspiring we grow and flourish. However, if the content is pleasant or titillating but lacks substance, we can spend our mental and emotional energy with little in return. That’s OK in moderation, just as a handful of potato chips are also OK.  Problems arise when we take more than just a handful. Remember the old Lays Potato Chip slogan, “bet you can’t eat just one!” Focusing on just one type of story or binging for hours or days on a series are serious signs of a JUNK STORY DIET. Remember, there are structures used purposefully to ‘hook you’ and keep you coming back. The story in and of itself is OK, dependency isn’t.

Lack of Empathy & Narcissism – Stories are bridges and often become connectors between people, cultures, and different ways of life, but they can also act like a funhouse mirror reflecting how we see ourselves, often in a distorted way.  We’ve all met the guy at a party who monopolizes the conversation with self-aggrandizing tales; people will walk away or try to change the topic but he just doesn’t stop. Personal stories are now one of the hottest trends, but when these tales are solely focused on just the teller, often jumping from one gory or shocking event to another, narcissism has fertile soil to grow.  A diet of shocking stories can also reduce your ability to empathize.

Isolation – Some stories expand the world and others insulate the reader creating a bubble for the reader or listener to escape into. Vacations are good, imprisonment is bad.  If you feel entrapped by media, addictive novels, or your own stories, you need to turn those off and find stories that connect you to others.

Dependency – An exciting movie, novel, or performance can produce an adrenal rush. That heightened emotional state is thrilling and fun, but it can also become addictive. I remember a commercial featuring a zombie-like woman who begins to panic at the end of the last episode of a TV series. The spokesperson assured her she’d be OK if she subscribed to their service, they had lots of binge-worthy shows. The ad ends with her smiling as she sits back to zone out once again. Your natural curiosity and emotional growth can get stuck and that can lead to frustration and depression.

Spiritual Disconnection – Every religion and spiritual practice uses stories as a conduit to understand complicated and challenging ideas. Joseph Campbell, the American mythologist who did ground breaking work understanding the stories in folklore and comparative religion showed just how powerful the narrative format can be.  The opposite is also true.  Just as stories can connect us to higher truths and lead us to deeper meanings in life, other stories can desensitize us.  Junk stories can stifle our desire to stretch and push ourselves.  The easy story often fills us up making us reluctant to tackle challenging stuff.

Miscommunication & Lies – This category is closer to Toxic than Junk, but I decided to include it because dishonest stories often mascaraed as important or essential stuff even though it’s just junk.  Propaganda campaigns seek out stories which evokes emotional responses and appear to be true.  Once you ingest one of these “true” but dishonest tales it can get stuck in your mind as truth.  This form of junk is often delivered at political and sales events.  They also flourish all over the internet.

Do you have other ideas about the risks of junk stories? Leave a comment below.  If you’d like to explore the power of story, drop me a note.  I do one-on-one coaching, workshops, and performances.

Next Blog: How to Identify Junk Stories.

Some Stories are Just Bullies

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Some stories can be overwhelming and dominate everything else.

Some stories can be overwhelming and dominate everything else.

We are each filled with 10,000 stories.  We begin collecting stories when we are very young.  Some are tales that we’ve lived, some have been passed down, and some we read, hear, or see.  This constellation of stories becomes our personal tapestry which both guides and defines us. It is colorful, textured, detailed, and complex, but sometimes one or two stories will dominate a story tapestry.  When this happens the rich and exciting tales that help us put our lives in context become obscure and navigating through life can become a painful journey.

These gluttonous stories that try to take over come in different forms. Let’s take a look at where these domineering tales come from and what we can do about them.

A trauma may be a catalyst.   Since traumas are often dramatic and all consuming, it’s no surprise that powerful or loud stories often emerge. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in and of itself, but as time goes by these bright spots on our story tapestry should merge into the pattern of our life.  Unfortunately the effects of some traumas linger and dominate everything we do.  A death of a child, sexual abuse, bankruptcy, or a terrible accident are examples of life changing events.  Although they will change us, if they redefine us and affect all things, all of the stories that came before and all of the stories that will come after may be distorted.

Both positive and negative labels can also take over. For example a person with a disability is often defined by that disability in all things and it is easy for the individual to see him or herself only as the disability.  A positive label can be just as bad.  The prettiest girl in high school is often discounted, chased, and hated all at the same time.  If the beauty label sticks, all of her stories and memories may be tarnished as time goes by.

Sometimes an event redefines a person.  For example October 14, 2003 Steve Bartman sat in the first row of seats in Wrigley Field for Game 6 of the National League Championship series; Chicago Cubs faced the Florida Marlins.  He reached out to catch a foul ball and deflected it from left fielder Mosises Alou.  It cost them the game and the series.  He has been called the most hated fan in baseball.  That happened a decade ago.  It’s the sort of label that can overwhelm, but Bartman took action to play down the event, avoid interviews and move forward.

One or two stories should not dominate our lives.  That fact might seem obvious, but dealing with the gluttonous story can feel overwhelming.  Here are a few suggestions for cutting those stories down to the right size.

  • Don’t go it alone: Seek out a story coach or friends to help you.
  • Give your other stories time to be seen and heard. Work with a storyteller to reclaime them.
  • Small stories are valuable gems, don’t overlook them.
  • If your domineering story sneaks into most or all of your stories, try to retell them, removing that story element.

Learn more about story coaching or schedule a session with me at Rivka@SimplyExtraordinaryTales.com.  

Mention this blog and receive $50 off a 3 session package.

 

Getting Unstuck: Taking your Art to the Next Level

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We all get bogged down, stalled, blocked. Musicians, painters, writers, performers: all artists get stuck.  It often happens after a success and a burst of productivity. Other times it happens after a well deserved break or vacation. We tend to stall right at a time when we’re ready to surge forward.  That’s when things stop.

It’s a lot like driving a car and getting stuck in the mud.  You’ve been zooming along, making good time when the tires get swallowed by soft, supple mud.  It’s wet and unformed.  If it was in a farmer’s field you might call it fertile land, but it’s part of the road so now it’s a major headache.  You spin your wheels in an attempt at freedom, but you just sink deeper. Maybe you get out of the car and get the shovel from the trunk, (I always carry a shovel in my trunk) and try to dig yourself out.  Unfortunately there is a lot of mud.  Whatever mud you dig out is instantly replaced by other mud.

Finally you decide you can’t do this alone.  You need help. The first person to walk by just got their driver’s permit. They suggest gunning the motor.  Now you realize you not only need help, but you need help from somebody who knows how to get out of the mud. You look around and find somebody who lives in the area.  He tells you he’s been stuck in a similar mud hole just down the block.  He puts cardboard under the tires and tells you to gently move back and forth and then he pushes. It doesn’t happen right away, it takes some time but together you move out of the mud and return to the road.

It’s the same for artists.  We often get stuck when things are fertile and we get frustrated. Sometimes we work really hard, {spinning our wheels} and just get more stuck.  Maybe we’ll go for the shovel and logically try to move forward,but if you don’t know how to handle the mud, more will just replace it.

So, you got to find somebody to help, somebody who knows about being stuck. I suggest a story coach.  She knows how to listen and guide you through the story that’s build a wall around you.  Maybe a new story will open the door, or maybe owning the beginning or end of the story will move you forward.  A story coach will also listen to the process of your music, painting, sculpture, dance, or performance. As the story unfolds, your art will not only move forward but rise to new levels.

Story coaching can be done in person or online through Skype or Google Hangout. If you are ready to embrace your art and get back to work, please give me a call.

Learn more about story coaching or schedule a session with me at Rivka@SimplyExtraordinaryTales.com.  862-268-4989

Mention this blog and receive $50 off a 3 session package.